SERIOUSLY?!?!?!!!!!

This is the first chance I have gotten to sit down and write about yesterday's meeting with Ashley. I wanted to be sure to write ASAP so as to not forget anything that was said. But there were so many really memorable moments! First off, we went to Dunkin Donuts, and they went to Honey's across the street. Apparently, we were given the wrong restaurant, but correct address. We decided to leave our car at Dunkin Donuts and just walk across the busy Niagara Falls Blvd. We walked into the restaurant and I saw Sue...and someone with her sorta hiding behind the menu. TOO CUTE! Then we saw her - this petite, pretty, sweet young woman smiling at us. We introduced ourselves and shook hands. I wanted to hug her but I wasn't sure what her comfort level was. Conversation came easy. Jay says I'm good at those sorta things. I guess I am. But Ashley was so great too! She shared so many details of her life with us in this first meeting. And I think Jay and I both fell in love with her very soon into the meeting. She speaks very slowly, but very intentionally and with a lot of heart. I was being very careful to not get ahead of ourselves, and not speak as though she was definitely selecting us. But Ashley kept speaking in definites. We talked about our families, about our hopes for the future, about what type of adoption this may be. She showed us pictures of her son, Anthony, and daughter, Anneliese. I told her about our other adoptions and what they look like. She told us what she liked (actually loved!) about our profile. She loved our video profile. She loved that we have the baby's room all ready and a closet full of clothes. She loves that both of our boys are adopted. She loves that we take a lot of trips and that "she" would be able to go to Disney World and other places. Actually the very first thing she said was that we seemed to have "bouncy" personalities - she liked that we seemed very outgoing and active and not too old. She likes how family oriented we are and she loves that we want a daughter. She loved the poem I wrote and how happy the boys look in the profile. Gosh, it was so awesome to hear how many things she really liked about us. It was sounding as if she had actually chosen us. But I was still not sure she had. We talked about the name we liked and how we came about choosing that name. She LOVED the name Alissa Teora. She has a lot of Italian in her so she really liked that connection a lot. She also really loves that her name, my name and all of our kids' names start with the letter "A". Then she asked us if we could attend doctor appointments with her. She told us that she would love us to be able to experience as much of the pregnancy and birth as possible. She wants us (or maybe just me, it wasn't clear) to be in the delivery room and to cut the umbilical cord and to hold the baby right away. Tears filled my eyes (it wasn't the only time during this meeting that happened!). I told her that would be an absolute dream come true for me. We gave her the present and card. She absolutely loved both, and she especially loved that we have the same ornament. PHEW! I had been second guessing that decision. At some point Ashley glanced at Sue and then said something like "You know Sue and I talked beforehand and I told her that I had picked you guys but that I wanted to tell you in person so that I could see your faces when I told you!" Tears, again!

We exchanged phone numbers, took a few pictures with the three of us and made plans for our next lunch on Dec 16. We also made plans to attend her next doctor's appointment on Dec 30. Ashley kept reassuring us that she is committed to this adoption, that she will not change her mind and that WE are Alissa's parents. We thanked her over and over again, and told her that we know that she still has a right to change her mind, and we would understand. But she kept telling us over and over again how we do not need to be nervous. She wants us to jump right in and be nothing but excited. She told us she is going to give us our daughter and then our family will be complete. WOW. We talked for 2 hours. We could have talked for 10 more. She told us how happy she was and what a huge relief it was knowing that we would be adopting her baby. She was smiling so much and really seemed happy and relieved. Finally, we walked her and Sue to the car and Ashley showed us the ultrasound pictures. WOW. I do not know what else to say, but WOW and AMAZING! The ultrasound was just about a week and a half ago and in 3D.

We could see her face so clearly! I have seen u/s pictures before, but they've always been something I just glance at because they've always reminded me of what we haven't been able to experience. But this is OUR daughter we were looking at (and I've looked at probably 100 times since yesterday!). AMAZING. Ashley insisted that we keep the pictures. She said we should have them because she is our daughter. I finally got her to agree to let me make copies so she can have them too. We hugged goodbye and Jay and I walked away to cross the street to our car. We held hands and all I could say was "SERIOUSLY?!" I couldn't stop smiling, but I also felt sorta in shock. That meeting could not have gone ANY better (Jay says the only thing that would have made it better was if the restaurant didn't smell like fish). As we were crossing the street, they were turning and waved. Jay and I got into our car and immediately I sent a text to a few people who were waiting to hear how it went. Replies were coming in faster than I could keep up. And then my phone rang and it was Sue Shaw. She told me that she really isn't suppose to do this but she had to tell me "When that girl got out of my car, she was smiling from ear to ear!". Awesome! A few minutes later I got a text message from Ashley. It said "I'm soooo happy you guys!" And then she asked for me to send her the pictures we took at the restaurant. She texted me more later and told me how she is still smiling and how ecstatic she is about it all. After texting and then talking to our friends and family, I was EXHAUSTED. What a day! We are gonna have a daughter. We are gonna have Alissa Teora, our Lil Ms. Tuff. SERIOUSLY???!!