Black Butterfly?

I have considered naming this blog "Black Butterfly". I came across this nickname while reading another blog, and it sorta stuck with me, especially because I already decorated the baby's nursery with butterflies. But why Black Butterfly? Well, that's because one morning a few months ago I woke up with a sense of peace, confidence and excitement about our future daughter. I have had an AA/briacial little girl in my heart for awhile now. But I have been overwhelmed by all of the "extra" challenges a transracial family faces. Were we up for it? How would our friends and family react? Would we be able to help her form a healthy racial identity while still feeling like she belonged with our family? How would she feel being the only AA/biracial member of our little family? But on that morning, I literally woke up and felt like God spoke to me, and all of a sudden I felt totally at peace and open - all worries aside. And I am excited. I truely feel in my heart that our little girl is going to be our beautiful Black Butterfly. I know it is truely out of our hands. But we are open to receiving whatever color butterfly God sends our way. And the rest will fall into place.

And so it begins...

Today is May 16, 2013. Tis the season for us to start the process to adopt again. The 1st time, we were completing our homestudy in May. The 2nd time we were already waiting by May. And now this time, we are sending in our registration packet today. But this time will be a little (or a lot) different. This time around, we are super busy with our 2 boys. I'd like to think because of our ultra busy-ness that the process, the wait, the profile opportunities won't be as difficult. But then again, we do expect our wait to be a lot longer than the previous two times. We do already have 2 boys. And we are 5 years older than when we began the process the 1st time. And....we are going to wait specifically for a girl. Some people may "get" why we want a girl this time. Others won't understand. With our 1st 2 adoptions, we didn't have a gender preference. And we couldn't be happier that we have our 2 boys, and they have each other. But our family does not feel complete. Both of us have always wanted to experience having a daughter. My heart melts when I see Jay with our friends' little girls, and I see his eyes shine. And I have always wanted a little girl (not so sure about a teenage girl, but I'll have some time to adjust to that - haha!). And so I am off to the post office today to send the registration packet to Adoption STAR. And then we will start the homestudy process. And then we will wait. And hope. And pray. For a baby girl...maybe even our Black Butterfly.